Tuesday, May 20th, 2008...5:33 am
3:30 in the Morning
Once again I’m wide awake at 3:30 AM. Only this time I’m in my new apartment in Seattle. It is so small. I feel like the walls are closing in on me. What was I thinking?
I moved to Seattle because I didn’t want to keep driving across the bridges. Yet as I sit here alone in my new apartment, the thought of being stuck on the bridge seems preferable.
Maybe living alone is getting to me already. The last time I lived alone was early 1996. My new refrigerator keeps making the sound of someone dropping a ping pong ball. And then it goes away.
I’ve made so many poor decisions recently, I now feel paralyzed.
Tags: moving
6 Comments
May 20th, 2008 at 8:05 am
With no straight job, 3:30am is actually a pretty interesting time. If I were in L.A. and feeling that way I’d head over to World Book & News newsstand in Hollywood. Perhaps I’d go have a bite to eat in the always open Pantry in downtown. I wonder if Seattle has similar places open.
I love cities in the middle of the night. It’s often lovely, with things open, and the dawn can be so beautiful.
All that said, loneliness and isolation sound like no fun. Take care brother.
May 20th, 2008 at 11:13 am
Sometimes in the middle of the night problems seem bigger than they are. It may because you feel completely alone because everyone else is asleep. Get some rest for now and try to set a schedule later.
leave some time for exploring outside your schedule. Actually you should get a pet too.
yours, B
May 20th, 2008 at 7:23 pm
3:30 AM or thereabouts is the worst time to be awake for me. At that time I struggle with the decision of forcing myself into more sleep, or deciding to do what Joe suggested and make the most of it.
Confession: I almost never make the most of it in practice, but when I have it has been better than stewing over it. So why don’t I do it more often? b.tyler hit on it — at that hour I am flatly not rational. Instead, unresolved problems from my unconscious psyche bubble up and halt me from action.
May 20th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
What was that LOTR quote, “All you have to decide …is what to do with the time given to you.”
Unlike most of us, your time is 100% yours to decide. Your life is still almost pure possibility! That is a beautiful thing.
Hang in there tho bro …I know you have been thru alot lately. Time also heals.
May 21st, 2008 at 7:56 am
Thank you to all that called me or commented here. I got some very good advice and I was able to sleep an extra 2 hours this morning.
July 5th, 2008 at 2:31 am
OK…what is it about 3:30 AM any way? I know that right now, I’m waking up at 4:30 AM, but that’s because of the Daylight Savings Time. I also know that NORMALLY, we’re at our deepest level of sleep around 3:30 AM. But what I don’t know is why do some of us, wake up at this point? Is it sunrise on some other planet? Natural electromagnetic phenomena on this planet? Government conspiracies? Any one want to give this an answer?
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